man ignoring woman while taking selfie

Your Phubbing Habit Ruins Relationships

Phubbing = phone snubbing. It happens when we ignore the people around us because we’re paying attention to technology. Phubbing wrecks relationships. I’ve been concerned about this for years, as you know if you’ve listened to my podcast or read my blog or ever met me. I put my phone on airplane mode every night because it’s an important boundary for me – yes, I am unreachable for a few hours of precious serenity.

phubbing definition
Phubbing: you probably do it everyday.

With more and more people using the attention-siphoning devices — the typical American checks his or her smartphone once every 6.5 minutes, or roughly 150 times each day — phubbing has emerged as a real source of conflict. –CNN 

“Researchers James. A. Roberts and Meredith E. David identified eight types of phone snubbing behavior that have become common in today’s world. They are:

– During a typical mealtime that my partner and I spend together, my partner pulls out and checks his/her cellphone.

– My partner places his or her cellphone where they can see it when we are together.

– My partner keeps his or her cellphone in their hand when he or she is with me….”

Sound familiar? This stuff is disturbing.illustrated-people-on-phones-phubbing

Who’s really worse: fast food companies or tech companies?

It’s somewhat in vogue to believe companies like McDonald’s and Coca-Cola and R.J. Reynolds are the problem. They make us sick, fat or dead, they pollute our planet,  and they’re purely profit-driven. Yet all the while, we lionize tech companies like Google, Facebook, and Apple. But these companies are responsible for literally rewiring our brains.

We’re willing participants as users of social networks that contribute to the breakdown of real human interaction, just like people in the drive-thru know what a Big Mac does to their body.

I suppose the parallel is that we didn’t always really know how bad fast food was for us until Supersize Me etc. came to light, until we legislated publishing calories on menus. And we won’t really acknowledge the negative impact of dopamine addiction to text message chimes and Facebook Likes for years, if at all. It’s more than a negative impact, it’s the unrecognized public (mental) health crisis of modern times.

StandFor Initiative contacted me and asked if I’d like to try out their anti-phubbing shoes. I’d never seen shoes with such a neat mission. Go check out their site. Frankly, this mission is way cooler and more important than TOM’S. I don’t care if that offends anyone. The Stop Phubbing mission is something we should all embrace before we break our ankles falling into a mall fountain.

standfor-initiative-shoes-blue-grey
Me wearing the LOVERS design, inspired by couples who ignore each other for their phones.

I picked the LOVERS shoes – there are plenty of really neat designs with backstories and real life inspiration. Here’s the description from the designer for my chosen pair:

One of the members of our team said that there’s nothing like the real feel of his wife’s warm hand touching his. Everyone should probably feel like this. But when we go to restaurants, we are shocked by couples who hardly look at each other and would rather spend their meal time staring at their phones, phablets and tablets.

I’m happy to wear these #stopphubbing shoes and I hope they spark a conversation. They’re comfortable, well made, and pretty darn cool looking. If you’d like a pair, here’s a $30 off discount promo code (valid through July 30, 2017): Enter promo code RMEFt9MD at shop.standforinitiative.com and choose the shoes, ankle boots or boots you’d like.

[Images: Stop Phubbing]